Foreword
It's almost the end of the year 2024. On a crisp day in the midst of October, I find myself walking alongside my roommate on our way to class. We’re about halfway through our fall semester of our senior year in college, and we’re spending it together in the grand city of London.
On our way to the tube station, my roommate’s talking to me about a game they absolutely adore, "Disco Elysium." I’ve played it briefly, only for a few hours, and yet I find myself being able to seamlessly talk about it. “My friend loves this game” I say to them. We've had endless conversations about it, the sociopolitical commentary, the dynamics between characters, the "Dungeons and Dragons" style gameplay. She was the one who encouraged me to check it out myself, so while I have little experience with this game, I know so much about it from her. When I think of "Disco Elysium" I think of her.
“My friend loves this game” I say to my roommate. Except it’s a lie. It’s true, she does love the game with all her heart, but she and I are no longer friends. We haven't spoken in months by the time I tell my roommate this. As I recite this back, it’s almost been a year since she and I last talked.
There’s millions of instances like mine out there. We see something: a movie, a singer, a piece of clothing we see walking past a shop, and think of someone who reminds us of this thing. It's a beautiful feeling to be reminded of someone you care so deeply about. Having this warm sensation overtake you, cracking a small smile as you look towards this person who means so much. and then seconds later you’re struck with the cold reality of the situation. The break up, the falling out, the loss. you can’t tell this person how you saw something on the street and thought of them anymore. there’s no more conversation, no way to bond. It’s there, it ends, and you’re stuck with this melancholic isolation while the remains of this thought slowly drift away from memory.
Wish You Were Here is a homage to those no longer in our life. Maybe due to a falling out, a break up, a loss, or simply a matter of growing apart. I envy your creativity, your knowledge on subjects that enchant and baffle me. I spite you for our miscommunications, your cruel indifferences. I want to be with you, I want to be you. I never want to see your face again, I miss you deeply. I hate you, and I love you all the same. I had romanticized the idea of being with you abroad, holding hands as we walk through picturesque European streets. The dream never came to fruition, but the reality isn’t unbearable, like I had once imagined. Here's to the broken relationships, the fractured memories, the gratuitous pain, and the lessons I've never learned. Thank you for being apart of my life, I wish you were here.
Postcard #1
I have lived a thousand lives
Since I’ve flown through London skies
And though my judgement cruel yet wise
I begin to prophesize
Smoking guns and burning flesh
For my absence doth protest
Her weary mind laid to rest
Nothing but a passing guest
Since I’ve flown through London skies
And though my judgement cruel yet wise
I begin to prophesize
Smoking guns and burning flesh
For my absence doth protest
Her weary mind laid to rest
Nothing but a passing guest
Postcard #2
What is one supposed to do
When a stranger bares the face
Of the girl I once knew?
When a stranger bares the face
Of the girl I once knew?
Postcard #3
Sgt Pepper surely took me by surprise
And I lie restless
Milling ‘round the old playground debris
“I’ll be wherever you’ll be....”
And I lie restless
Milling ‘round the old playground debris
“I’ll be wherever you’ll be....”
How do you sleep?
Postcard #4
a bird flew through the clouds across the sky
and beneath those clouds lay a tree
and beneath the leaves lay another bird perched on a branch
and beneath the branch lay another branch with a tiny house
and beneath the branch with the tiny house lay a chair
and beneath the chair lay a basket
and beneath the basket lay another bird pecking crumbs
and beneath the bird pecking crumbs lay a blanket
and beneath the blanket lay grass
and beneath the grass lay ants
and beneath the ants lay dirt
and beneath the dirt lay roots
and beneath the roots lay ant holes
and beneath the ant holes lay the earth’s crust
and beneath the earth’s crust lay the earth’s mantle
and beneath the earth’s mantle lay the earth’s outer core
and beneath the earth’s outer core lay the earth’s inner core
and beneath the earth’s inner core lay a colony
and beneath the colony lay a nuclear reactor
and beneath the nuclear reactor lay dissemination
and beneath the dissemination lay the end of the world
and beneath the end of the world lay madness
and beneath the madness lay more madness
and beneath more madness lay madness
and beneath the madness lay more madness
and beneath more madness lay madness
and beneath those clouds lay a tree
and beneath the leaves lay another bird perched on a branch
and beneath the branch lay another branch with a tiny house
and beneath the branch with the tiny house lay a chair
and beneath the chair lay a basket
and beneath the basket lay another bird pecking crumbs
and beneath the bird pecking crumbs lay a blanket
and beneath the blanket lay grass
and beneath the grass lay ants
and beneath the ants lay dirt
and beneath the dirt lay roots
and beneath the roots lay ant holes
and beneath the ant holes lay the earth’s crust
and beneath the earth’s crust lay the earth’s mantle
and beneath the earth’s mantle lay the earth’s outer core
and beneath the earth’s outer core lay the earth’s inner core
and beneath the earth’s inner core lay a colony
and beneath the colony lay a nuclear reactor
and beneath the nuclear reactor lay dissemination
and beneath the dissemination lay the end of the world
and beneath the end of the world lay madness
and beneath the madness lay more madness
and beneath more madness lay madness
and beneath the madness lay more madness
and beneath more madness lay madness
and beneath all that, I lay
Postcard #5
When I return to the mainland
Will I be a new man?
Will I be a new man?
Postcard #6
I yearn for a time taken too soon
The rose tinted sun refracts off the girls I admire as it burn my eyes
My nostalgic gaze weaponized
The rose tinted sun refracts off the girls I admire as it burn my eyes
My nostalgic gaze weaponized
I yearn for a place in the imaginarium
Where the snow freezes mid air amongst the field of forget-me-nots
And the waves collide with mountains
Where the snow freezes mid air amongst the field of forget-me-nots
And the waves collide with mountains
I yearn for a life not lived
With the love I could have had, but chose not to
Deeming the road untaken, forfeiting reward
With the love I could have had, but chose not to
Deeming the road untaken, forfeiting reward
I yearn for the past
The present, and future
I yearn for the people I have
And the ones I’ve lost
I yearn for me
My spirit, my soul
And I mourn
For what could have been
The present, and future
I yearn for the people I have
And the ones I’ve lost
I yearn for me
My spirit, my soul
And I mourn
For what could have been